Friday, August 20, 2010

Life? Slow down.

I have been dreading the last few weeks of summer for quite sometime now. Although, I can not even begin to describe how amazing this summer has been and how much it made me realize how strong me and my friends are as a group, and as individuals.

Sunday, was the first goodbye we had to say. Lauren and me have been friends since the end of sophomore year, although, if you were around us for any point in time, you'd think it was way longer. Lauren made me want to be a better person, the drive she has to succeed is almost intimidating. She is so motivated to do well in life and I know that nothing can stop this girl, not even some crazy virus she may pick up in Italy :) Just kidding, and knock on wood. Watching all the girls stomp in and out of the airport with tear-filled eyes and uneasy stomachs was so hard, watching your best friend go up the escalator looking down at all her friends and realizing it would be months till you saw her again, was even harder. Although, we did meet Trace Atkins? It lightened the mood, but didn't stop the tears. I miss Lauren so much, and it hasn't even been a week, but I know that she is having a BLAST in Italy and I am so excited to hear about all the adventures she has in New Hampshire and watch her shape into the amazing woman she will soon become.

As for the rest of the girls, Kori, leaves on saturday and Amy and Bree follow her up to Utah State Sunday. Mandy heads out sometime next week, Im not entirely sure when, but Im thinking about locking her in a closet to prevent the process. Taylor, Kayla and Britny are staying with me at Weber State, and I cant express how thankful I am that I will still have them here to distract me and keep me going. I honestly wish I could use words to describe how MUCH these girls really do mean to me, its actually quite frusterating that I cant. They are my wolfpack :) But like Mandy said, we have aquired these friendships that are SO unique and amazing, three months wont even phase the strength they have, I am convinced that through Skype (which is the coolest thing EVER), facebook, texts, phone calls (I will make the rounds daily, dont even doubt me) that staying in contact wont be a difficult process and hopefully the semester flys by fast for all of us, and before we know it, *Mexican Accent* Here we are again *End Mexican Accent*

After having two jobs all summer long I cant even tell you how WEIRD it is to have so much extra time on my hands? Although, sadly, I cant say I miss Target at ALL. I have been so much less stressed and so much easier to be around since I quit. The salon is going great, I read a book a week pretty much, but that isnt bad for my heath or anything. It will be nice when school starts and I can read ahead and stay on track with my classes, so sadly, I will switch out the Twilight series for textsbooks coming up next week.

I am excited for my life to take off as well. Even though I am "just going to Weber" it is a really fantastic university. I am excited to be a college student and persure my education! I refuse to start off on the wrong foot, so the girl who sits in the first two rows in every class, reads ahead and asks lots of questions? Yup, that'll be me. I rebelled all of highschool and it got me no where, but hardly graduating. Its time to buckle down and be serious about my education because I do plan on getting my bachlors degree, AT LEAST. Four more years of school, come to mama!

There is so much more to talk about, but another blog, another day, as for now I want all my friends to know they mean the absolute WORLD to me, and I am so excited to hear about everyones adventures!

"Through all the lies, the sad goodbyes,
The things we hide, the tears we've cried.
Through the odds and ends, we've been friends.
Though times have past, the memories last,
Remember, we will be friends forever!"

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My life, my message.


Yesterday, I got my second tattoo. Only having it one day, a lot of people are asking me what the significance of it is, what does it mean to me? My mom is convinced a form of rebelling, that it's something witty to put on my body. NO, that would be wrong.

I didn't and still don't have the worlds greatest dad, which has been a constant struggle on me since I was born. I had to grow up a lot faster then most kids did. I had a job at fourteen and still have yet to go without one since the day I got that first job. I knew then if I wanted something, I needed to work for it. My child hood wasn't an easy one by any means, it was hard to get by and my grandparents helped out SO much with everything. Going through 3 divorces between the ages of 6 and 11 is not the typical child hood. I remember wishing MY dad would just come back, so I didn't have to put up with these Bozos and all their million kids.

Now that I am 18 years old and am well aware of the person my dad is, I'm glad he never came back. No, I do not hate him. He doesn't do anything good for me nor my mom, so it is good he got lost when he did and let just HER raise me. Making it work with him is nearly impossible and my patience is thin and wearing fast.

My life, my message. No matter WHAT happens in my life, I will learn from it, I will voice my opinion and not be afraid to show people who I am. You have choices in life, you can learn for what God has given you, or sulk and be upset. My whole childhood I refused to be upset with anyone for not having a Dad. I was a strong little girl, I just knew in the end everything was going to be okay. It got to me at times, but for the most part, I kept that attitude. No matter what happens, who I loose, who I gain, I always want to have a positive outlook on what is placed in front of me. I refuse to bring a bad "message" to the table.

The tattoo hits me hard as an individual, and it has many different meanings to me. People may think its stupid or immature, I don't care, it means something to me, it represents something in MY life, I have OVERCOME something huge, something that I have struggled with my entire life, and I put it somewhere I will see it everyday and remember the strength I had and will still need for my future, I'm sure it will have its ups and downs as well.

I love it, and that's all that really maters to me.


"God places the heaviest burdens on only those who can carry the weight"